11/1/11 < A special date.

Dear Bloggie,

Today is 11/1/2011 . Haha.
The numbers are so smooth ! :P
All 1.
Yeaa, Is a special date that only have ONE time FOREVER.
So, can count as a special day?
Hmmmmm....
Nothing special happen to me today.
I think just a special date for me.
Talking about today.....
HOMEWORKS ARE SO MANY !!!!
Kemahiran Hidup, Sejarah, Mathematics......
Why have to do so many homeworks on a special date?
The teacher never notice it ?
Hmph!
Do the homeworks until my hands were so tired !
:(
Today, my partner Hanu invite me to join them for recess.
She says I always sitting alone so she feels that I am very lonely.
Yeaa, I'm lonely.
FREAKING LONELY!
But, what can I do?
ARGHHHH!
Sometimes I really think that I am nearly ANTI-SOCIAL.
But when other people find me to chat I'll be very happy.
What am I thinking about?
I DON'T KNOW.
What is so scary about the others?
Anybody also the SAME.
SAME human being too.
:(
Guess what ? A chance for me to being free from LONELY until Form 5, I MISS IT.
I MISS IT.
I MISS THE CHANCE !!!
I didn't go recess with them.
Alone again.
Sitting at the corner.
AGAIN!
That time when Hanu invite me, I already said to myself.
I must try to go recess with them.
If I never try to communicate with them, how do I know them well ?
How do I know they are actually not bad at all ?
At the last minute, I GIVE UP.
.......
Why did I do a desicion like that?
That is not the situation I WANTED.
Although I still cannot speak english smoothly, but if I always use english to communicate, my english also will become good too.
Even if I make a mistake when speaking, they also will not laugh me cause I am from SJK.
I also need some time to perfect my english.
I'm trying !
After recess, at class, Hanu asked me why I didn't join them for recess.
I said, I'm very hungry so I eat first.
The hungry thingy is correct but I am sure that I LIED to Hanu of my true feelings.
I'M STILL SCARE ABOUT JOINING PEOPLE.
I've been alone for awhile.
Sometimes I think I already get use to the life of being lonely.
Cause sometimes stay alone is really better than joining people.
WHEN NEVER TALK , THERE WILL NEVER HAVE MISTAKES OF SAYING THINGS WRONGLY.
When you accidently say something wrongly to others, they believe it and never give you a chance to explain.
:(
Did somebody understand my feelings?!
Not I don't want to make friends, chat, sosialise with other people.....
It just .....ARHHH... FORGET IT.
But, It's seems to have a another bright light.
Hanu says, I MUST join them for recess TOMORROW !
IT'S ANOTHER CHANCE.
This time, I CAN'T miss this chance ANYMORE.
Erin, believe yourself, you can do it.
Step up your first step!
If you fall down, nevermind, stand up again.
Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow .....
Wish me luck ! ♥
Still have one more special date on this year, 11/11/11.
Have six one !
:)
Waiting for that day.
I know it will come very fast.
That time, I need to prepare myself for PMR already.
Haha ! :D
Oh well, 11:28p.m. already, it's time for SLEEP !
Goodnight and chaos.