Raining mood.

I'm so tired. Still, I come for an instant blog post before I rest, some more my laptop's battery gonna die soon. 

We had our Sports' Day raptai yesterday. We need to march under the hot sun is simply an 'brilliant' idea. And I became darker, OMG. -____- Need to use a long time for my skin to recover back to its more brighter state. After Sports' Day, skin care products GO GO GO! And For this week, because of my activities I need to stop jogging with my friend every evening. So start from next week, we will be jogging same as usual, just need to be more tougher. Because after so long we jogged last time. D: FATS MUST GO AWAY. 

And yeah, this last week of June doesn't give me any happy endings. -____- It makes my life more miserable . I don't know why. D: Why I can't start my June happily and end my June happily, there's must be some disturbance in it. :( And for this time, a lot of problems happened, which I don't want it to be happened. D: Sighs. Thank God I have friends that willing to be there for me when I needed someone the most. :') They are the most wonderful friends that I have. :') Hanu, Cheah, Kalai, Chin Yau, Julia, Firdaus, Naquib and Yee Hao. ;) I love them so much. ♥ And I want to say sorry to you all because I caused so much trouble for you all. :'( Please forgive me. Without you all, I don't know.. how to face all those terrible things, one by one, all alone, myself. Thank you so much. ♥

Will stop here for now. ;) Continue soon. Sports' Day tomorrow I need to get enough of sleep! Must be energized. ;) TBM SCOUT! We're the best, we're the champions. ;) Aza-aza fighting for tomorrow. ;) ♥

Goodnight, chaos. ;) 

Must destroy negative thoughts.

Today it's the day for the acara saingan. Well, like I said before, I'm taking part in rejam lembing and lontar peluru. I have a mixture of feelings. I'm feeling so excited, nervous, afraid, scared. This is the first time ever I join for sports event in school. From young, primary till now, I'm not active at all and I don't really like sports. But, for this time, I don't know why suddenly I become so active in sports and co-curricular activities, it's good though. Well, because it's the first time, I tried my best to train as hard as I could just no to be too embarrassed in the real competition. I don't have any sport experience. So for them that have good sports 'genes' inside them, that's good. But I got none. So I tell myself, other people work once, I need to work 10 times harder than them. Because I got no talent. That's why I need to keep practice, and honestly, I think it's not enough. D: Seriously, not enough time.... :'( All the teachers and seniors keep telling me that I can, I can do it. But inside of me, I already know at the end I will screw things up, I got no self-confidence...


Carrying high expectations from teachers and seniors for my rejam lembing acara makes me more afraid of it. They spent a lot of time on me, teaches me, train together with me. Some more before the competition, a senior of mine, call me and say, "Erin, you must get the first prize, it's the time for you to pay off your hard work, or else you trained two hours under the sun that time what for? Today right? So you can." After I heard this, I'm so so so happy but on the other side I'm quite scared because I may disappoint them. I'm a noobie who don't know sports, you should know that. Okayy, in a nice way, newbie. 


There's four times for us peserta to throw, one time is for the trial and the other three times they will start counting the mars. When I saw the other competitors throw so so so so so far, I'm getting more afraid. For sometimes, my performance won't be so steady. You know, for the javelin, the sharp part of it need to poke the ground only considered as pass. I'm afraid that I can't even poke the ground with the javelin. :( For the trial, I did great, the javelin steadily poked the ground. I'm happy, but that doesn't count. Okayy, things got serious. I throw again for the first time, this time I failed. The whole javelin dropped on the ground. So I'm convincing myself, "I still got two more chance, don't waste it." For the second time, the same situation happened ONCE MORE. The whole javelin dropped on the ground without poking anywhere. I'm more afraid now. Because that time, someone has the furthest throwing point which is 12++ meters.. For the third time, I tell myself I must make the javelin to poke the ground, no matter how near or how fair it is, I don't care already. I cannot be that 'fail' to keep disqualified for so many times. :'( Well, at last, finally I poked the ground with 6 meters ++ only.


What a distance I say. Well, I failed to get a position. There's still good news! My best buddy, Hanu, she got second place for it! ;D Hip hip horray for Jentayu! Jentayu UP UP! :P Hahaha! :P I feel so happy for her. Therefore, I feel so disappointed of myself. And I don't know how to face my seniors and teachers.... It's like, I failed to fulfill their request and expectations. I feel very very very sad. :'( I feel I am so stupid. D: You know what's the reason I will lose? I KEEP THINKING TOO MUCH! And you know what's the worst part? I actually keep thinking that I will fail to make the javelin poke the ground. How pathetic. I'm destroying myself with negative thoughts. The bad part is, it comes true. Instead of thinking something good, I go to think of something bad. :'( Such a failure. WHY WHY WHY?! WHY THIS KOLAVERI DI!!


During the game, I'm thinking of what position I should make, how to move, this and that. I'm not enjoying the game at all, like that first time I play the javelin. D: I'm in love with it. But this result really makes me feel disappointed TO THE MAX! Especially when other people asked me, "Erin you got win?" "Why? You trained so hard."  I don't know what should I reply to them, this shows how 'fail' I am. </3 I don't dare to face all of you all, especially members of Jentayu. D:

Sometimes, competitions and exams, also need some luck. Maybe for this time, I don't have any luck. God didn't bless me for this. Maybe, God wants me to train even harder and stronger for it. Let me to be stronger. I will train more hard for javelin in the future for next year's saringan if the teacher still gives me a chance. :) I hope the teacher will give me another chance, I will be very very thankful for it. ♥ And I will fight hard. Please?

After the competition, we have our studies as normal, well, I can say it's a fun one, EXCEPT FOR CHINESE. >:( I don't know why I'm starting to hate Chinese. Maybe, I got no friends inside, and also the teaching is quite boring for me, not the same teaching method during the primary anymore. I do understand why. Now, for our secondary school, one week we just have 3 periods of Chinese lesson, if I'm still in primary (SJKC) I got like more than 6 periods a week, that's why we can do more exercises and learn more  stuffs. ;) Totally different than now.

School ends now, and it still haven't over yet! I still got another acara at 4:30p.m... That means I need to stay back. But, it's impossible to call me to stay at school, doing nothing and wait until 4:30p.m! And I also need to go to 7-eleven to buy Molpoints. So I will also have my lunch at mamak there. ;) It's been so long I never go there for lunch! ♥ I went there with who? Guess! :D Hanu? Cheah? Dhurgaa? Julia? NO NO NO! This time I went there alone. :) I also don't know where I find the courage and braveness inside of me, I actually dare to walk to somewhere that I'm not really familiar with, ALONE. :3 It's an adventure. :3 Haha! 

Bought the things I want at 7-eleven, and then before I went to mamak and I saw Dhiya and Satren at the bookshop there. So I went to say 'Hi' with them. :3 And then I get RM 1 belanja from Satren to buy roti canai. x) HAHA! Thank you so much Satren. ;) They went back to school and I went to mamak. ;)

Some of our schoolmates are having their lunch at there as well. ;) So, I can still see some familiar faces there. I won't be so scared.. Still, I'm alone, #foreveralone as they said, it's really quite scary also.. :'( I'm really afraid that time... Skip the scare scare part, I had roti planta and MY FAVORITE SIRAP BANDUNG AS MY LUNCH! ♥

YUMMYY! ♥

BANDUNG!!!! THE LOVE! ♥

Taken using my phone's camera. :D TEEHEE. Thank God I'm not that #ForeverAlone after that. ;) Shuying so kind come and have lunch with me at the mamak. ;) She chatted a lot of her unforgettable trip yesterday. It was awesome though. :D I wish I could join too, but it's impossible for me. :X Don't ever dream of it. :3

After lunch, Shuying recommended me to a Ais Kacang stall. :D YAY! Dessert after meal. :D I love it. :3 Teehee. :D  I ordered a cendol while Shuying ordered a longan drink. :D

Cendol with my favorite RED BEANS!!! ♥

It tastes delicious! :DD OHHHMEEEGOSHHH! ♥ I WANT MORE! The ice is quite smooth and the sugar is sweet enough and nice, the cendol is nice the red bean is nice, everything it's nice! And it's quite big in size, and it just costs RM2.50 if you eat there. SO SO SO SO CHEAP! ♥ I will go there more often then. x)

Tell you what, I love my school more now. :DD Got so many nice foods to eat OMG. x) I LOVE IT! So many facilities and restaurant, soon, some more will be a Chatime opening beside the Oldtown White Coffee Menjalara there! :DD It's so near to my school , I think it only takes 15-20 minutes, or maybe less then, you can reach there already! :DD I will stay back at school everyday for Chatime once it's open. x) HAHA!

MY SCHOOL IS LIKE A HEAVEN PLACE. ♥

Ate so many cold things before the acara some more. -_____- I love foods, and I can't resist. :3 I can't stand the temptations. :3 IT'S SO SO SO NICE. :P HAHA! After the dessert, we went back to school. There's competition going on, run run run, jump jump jump and also throw throw throw. :3 Haha. x) The running is the most exciting one! Everyone will be cheering for their own rumah sukan! :D Me? OF COURSE IS JENTAYU AND MY FELLOW FRIENDS! Who take part in the competition. :3 And how shocking when I saw my classmates can actually run very very very fast, like Shiao Dong and Sharwin. OMG. SO SO SO FAST LIKE LIGHTING. Some more not short distance, is long distance. They run 3 rounds of our school's field. :O They got the stamina, OMG. >___< Pro!

Sitting next to my beloved moral teacher, Miss Hong during the competitions. :D It was so fun chatting with her and also with other friends. :D What I can say is the whole picture is nice, words can't describe it but when you feel it, you can feel that there's pure happiness of cheering for your friends. The whole situation is very lively. :D And the ones who are competing are so so serious, they're pro(s). Respect! Salute!

After awhile, I heard the teachers starting to call our names and acara, gotta go for it. But Hanu is not here! D: So so so panic that time. >____< Even when the game starts already, she never come. She said to me before, if she never come means, never come. So, we go on without her. ;) Comparing to lembing, this is much more easier. Just the ball is quite heavy. :3 And the teacher in charge is funny as well! :D He will make jokes. :3 So it makes us more relax during the competition. :D Of course, at the end, I didn't win, because I got not enough energy to throw, I still don't know how to control my energy and some more the teacher is laughing me about my style of throwing! >____< Don't know what's so funny about it. >___< Well, my furthest throw also just 4.28meters. While the first, second and third are 5 meters ++.. I never expect anything on this acara so I don't feel so sad. :D It's fun to play! Hope next time, I'm prepared and I can still go for it. ;)

My acara was over, so that means I can go home already. :3 But still, I went to the Ais Kacang stall again to take away for my mother. I want my mother to try. :3 And also I bought some goreng stuffs for her. :D Teehee, she likes this kind of stuffs. :3

Actually I want to zoom more nearer but I'm too scared of people watching me taking picture. And I actually want to take the situation of the students and teachers sitting there, and also the running running. :D I know, the people in the pictures all look like ants. X) It's a waste of space of posting this, I know.

After I take away the foods, it's like almost 5:00p.m++.. And I need to wait for my transport auntie to come and fetch me at 5:30p.m++. Waited alone outside the school compound. Singing to reduce my loneliness, I'm afraid of it. Since now I sing alone NOBODY will call me to "shh..." also.  :3

My auntie came at 5:30p.m, so I went home, relax and online. :3 Teehee. :D Looking forward to our Sports' day this Friday! :D It sure will be a busy week. :D  


Okayy, it's a super duper long post. :O Sorry for writing so many craps but if you finished it all, I thank you very much, and here's a cookie for you. :3 HAHA!


It's time for me to sleep, it's already 12a.m something, mum's gotta scold. And there's another day I won't get enough of sleep. :3

Chaos and goodnight. ;) ♥

It will pay off soon.

Dear Bloggie,

Well, here I am, come for a short update before I go to bed. Current time is already 11:34p.m and I don't know what happened to my internet connection it seems to be so laggie that my Youtube video can't even load properly, hanging at there. #nowplaying Jason Mraz - I Won't Give Up. :3

Had a lot of fun last week. ;) I really really do enjoyed myself so much. :D Last week Tuesday, it was the first time experiencing to take pictures with a DSLR, thank you so much to my senior who borrow his DSLR to us. ^___^ What I can say is... THE PICTURES ARE SO SO SO NICE! Even I just use Auto mode, the pictures are still nice, OMG. :O I want an over-priced DSLR now. x) HAHAHA! Nah, although I want it so badly, but I'm still a beginner.. :'( Aza-aza fighting for strengthen my photography skills! ;)

The same Tuesday, I had rumah sukan practice. This time, I learned how to throw the javelin. It was fun and also interesting. So I keep training the same move, which is make the javelin successfully interject into the ground. And that's the hardest part. You need to throw far and can make it into the ground in the same time. You will be disqualified if you can't make the javelin interject into the ground. D: And you know what, the teacher chose me to join the acara lembing and peluru for the coming saringan at Monday. OMG. I'm so so so nervous, you see, I never even join any sports since young, primary until now. D: This is the first time that I join the event. D: I'm so so so scared. So so so afraid. I don't have any experience. Maybe this is the time. Well, will try my best to throw as far as I could, too bad I don't have the people that I really really really hate it with my soul. :3 Wish me luck.

And last Friday, it was our school's teacher's day. :D I know it was kinda late for our school.... but, I did enjoyed all the performance. :D Well, I'm in the performance as well. :D Yi Jin, Ai Lynn and I, together we sang a song to the teacher. And the song is so original, it's written by my very talented friend Yi Jin. :D She's a pro. :3 I did enjoyed myself during the performance. Honestly saying, I AM SO SO SO SCARED that time. But thank God, it was quite successful. And I'm glad and proud of three of us. ♥ Girls power! :P Teeheee. And that time, it was also the FIRST time for me to do some performance in front of so many people during secondary's. :D That's my best experience ever. :D Thank you both so much for letting me experience all these. Everything's fun. ;D I love it when every performers are practicing, no matter dancing, singing, playing the instruments, everything's good! :D I love to see in the school the surroundings are lively. :D With MUSIC. ♥ Music makes our life better! When you walk by the staircases, school compound or anywhere inside the school, you can actually hear some guitar strings strumming, how nice is it? :D I love school surrounding with music, that's why I love the times when the school have events and they have performance to show, that time, the school will be the most lively time. ♥
Oh yeah, TO ALL THE PERFORMERS! YOU ALL ARE AWESOME AND I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH! ♥ Haha! 
Is either I go and download all the video and upload again to my bloggie or I put links for you guys to enjoy. :3 It's really good. So wait for my next blog post, it won't take so long. ;3

My lifestyle have become more active compare to the beginning of the year or even last year. :D I'm so busy with school activities and also outdoor activities, and of course, 'indoor activities' such as surfing the net every day is a must. :3 HAHA. I'm quite happy because of my lifestyle has starting to turn active. ;) I can also stay more healthy like that. :D Teehee.

Today, I'm having some 'emo' times in school. :'( During my Malay lesson, something makes me get angry and not more than 5 minutes, I'm not angry anymore but become sad because I started to think something else. I'm actually thinking, why I am not the same with other girls? :( Why am I so different when comparing to the other girls? :'( Why must I be the weirdo always and nobody likes me. :'( Sighs. A lot a lot more. I'm actually taking my friend, Kitty's advice, unique. Why must I be the same like others? Well, yeah, actually why? But still, I want to be the same. OMG, and that's confusing enough. Will continue this topic in the next blog post soon. So stay tuned to my 'emo' problems.

And the 'hottest' news, just now I went to check my weight on the scale in my house, AND I'M SO SO SO SHOCKED. I don't know whether is my scale broke already or what, at first time I stand on it, IT SHOWS A VERY VERY SHOCKING number of weight. But the second time, third time I stand on it, it shows a different number again. OMG. D: Now, I really really need to be on a diet, so next time, no matter what kind of scale I stand in, the good ones or the broken ones, it can still shows my weight in a quite smaller number. Well, will continue this topic in the next blog post soon.

Okayy, I'm actually lack of time now, because now it's my time to have my beauty sleep or else tomorrow I will wake up as a human 'panda'. Haha. And I'm also quite tired but these few days I don't even have the chance to take a very comfy nap. D: Aww... I miss naps so much.

NO more words, no more! NO MORE! STOP! Goodnight everyone and chaos. :3
But... ahem, let me to share some flower pictures that I taken in school during both Photography club time, sorry for putting pictures at the end of the blog post. :3

Taken last week, with my phone. ;) 

Our national flower. ;) Taken this week, during the photo hunt. 

Last but not least......

Me with a DSLR! :3 Credits to Slo and Hong Seng.

I LOVE FLOWERS! HEEEEEE.

One day 48 hours please.

Hello everyone! :D I hope everyone is doing fine. Long time no see. No sign of me blogging during the holidays even a word. -_- Too bad, nothing to blog, no inspiration and nothing.

During the holidays, nothing much I done, every thing sure won't leave the computer. Just walk through some malls and went back to Seremban for our family BBQ session and also karaoke with cousins. ;) Well, at least something 'fun' during holiday happened.

Two weeks just passed like that. Why is the holidays seemed so short? D: I need more of it. During the holidays, I sleep at midnight and wake up at afternoon, that was the best part. I get to sleep and wake up whenever I want. But still, I didn't get enough of sleep during the holidays also. -_- #Sighs

The school's on, everything turns back normal, extraordinary normal. OMG. How to say? Hmm... What I can say is my life becomes more busier now, packed with a lot of things. :( I need to study in the morning, tuition/co-curricular activities at school (thank God the activities will be ended in this month), jogging, piano practice, homeworks, and also my online game. :( Haha, still got time to play online game? Nahh, it's just because I opened a new guild/family inside the game, so it's impossible I just leave my members there like that. I need to be a good role-model to be active in game. :3 So, after I finished all the important things, will gaming for awhile even though I'm extremely tired.

It's a kind of complicated feeling when the school reopens, I don't know whether want to feel happy or sad. Happy it's because I can finally meet with my friends and play with them, no need to be so boring at home, doing nothing except for playing the computer. For those, I need to sacrifice my time of sleeping. :'( And I'm so so so so tired and end up being lazy, ALL THE TIMES. Sighs.

Will try my best to get used of it, and back on track to the normal lifestyle that I MUST have. -_- It's hard but what to do?  PMR trial is around the corner, and so is PMR. Aza-aza fighting to every form 3 students. ;) Of course including me as well. Haha.

Okayy, gotta go now to jog with friend, *ON DIET!* Wish me luck, and chaos. ;)