Dear Bloggie,
Sorry for lefted you quite awhile here.
Are you lonely? :/
Well, not in the mood of writing my blog those days.
I'm busy.
Nothing special happened also.
Hmm..
But, during these days, don't know why I keep on crying.
I think I am stressed again.
Cried at home.
Got scolding from my mother of crying.
Home is not a good place for me to cry.
That's why I always hold my tears and cry at school.
I had no choice.
If I don't cry out, I can't find another way to express it.
And if I cry at school, I hope I can get more support and accompany from my friends.
But, they can't always just stay at my side, they also have their things to do.
That time, I realized, I really need to do something.
Few days ago, a friend of mine find me and talk some about my problems.
Well, that time I need a person to talk with, so I choose to believe.
Say honestly, he really helped me a lot.
But that time, I haven't understand and think of the whole thing completely.
The day after it, I totally understand and get the meaning.
My mind is open.
People changed, we can't do them also.
That means we must let them go.
If still holding a person that doesn't belong to you tightly, you will just struggle yourself from pain.
It's hard to forget someone that once you love the most, but can still keep the good memories.
Life still goes on, no matter how worst or good.
We can't change the past, because it's already become past tense.
But, we can change our future, with our will. :)
It depends on us.
The most important thing, must believe in yourself.
Don't lost confidence.
Be happy is not 'trying to', is 'must to'. :)
Thank you, someone. :)
If you didn't come and say all these to me, maybe I still need a long time to recover myself.
Thanks for all the words, the meaningful words.
Hmm..
Another thing that happened today.
Well, the position of my class came out already.
If didn't mistaken, the paper wrote that I got 35th in my class.
What a result.
What aim that I aiming again?
Okayy, wait a second.
Ohh yea, I remembered.
It's within 10.
Now? What I got?
:'(
From 11th to 35th.
Say honestly, the WORST POSITION I EVER HAD for my ENTIRE LIFE.
I dropped 24 position.
According to the new position ranking system, once you failed a subject, your position will be at behind already.
Well, I am the FIRST person on the 'Failed' list.
My total marks are 531.
But some other classmates of mine, the total marks are lower than mine, but their position are on the 'Passed' list.
Well, means in front of 35th.
35th behind, means all the 7 people also got subject that failed.
The time that I know I get 35 in my class, I straight cry.
I can't stand it.
I know cry can't change anything, but I still can't control myself.
My heart just tell me, cry it out loud.
After a great cry, it feels more comfortable though.
I cried for 3 periods.
During the Chinese lesson, my best friends can't stay in the class because they didn't take Chinese.
So, no choice, they need to leave.
Left one of my best friend, GF.
Actually, he's so good.
He tried to comfort me and accompany me.
Seriously, when I cry, I realized all of my classmates were scared of me.
No one dare to come and comfort me or accompany me.
Maybe I'm not that close with them also.
But, honestly, when I cry, what I need the most is someone's accompany and comforting.
But, it takes time.
Not many people do really care, honestly saying.
Nevermind, I already get used to it.
So, I don't care of them, I just cry.
Nobody will understand what I am thinking.
I didn't blame anyone.
That's true, no one can understand a person's heart and mind completely.
What I want to say is, a people who always laugh and smile the most, is the ones who their hearts are crying all the times.
So, everyone have their limitations.
Like me, I can't stand it anymore, so I cried.
I bet nobody likes to cry, including me.
I prefer laughter more.
But, there's always sad times.
We're not made from metal or steel.
We will still cry.
Cry is not a thing that embarrasses, is just a way to express yourself.
Even the strongest person in the world also will cry.
So, please don't think that cry is a crime.
But, that's doesn't mean to call you cry more.
Just, when you feel sad, please don't hide your emotions.
Express it out to make you feel more better.
Share it out to your friends also.
Or write it out on a diary.
:)
After my Chinese teacher finished her teaching, she still got time.
She come and comfort me and also give me motivation.
She told me not to lose hope but study hard for the final exam.
"you can be the best, if you work hard."
:)
I will teacher, I will.
Now, I want to promise myself, I will study more hard for the finals.
I won't let myself down.
And I won't FAILED a subject again.
My aim of position is still within 10.
I know I can.
:D
And also, I want to promise my friends, especially Dhurgaa, Hanu and GF,
I will try not to cry at the class and then I will share all my feelings with you all.
Deal? :D
I love you three. ♥
I learned from my lesson, I won't let the same mistake repeat again.
I woke up from all the bad dreams.
And I believe, I will feel the warm sunshine. :)
Once again, I want to thanks all my friends who support, comfort and be with me all the times.
I can't live without you all, friends are important.
you all are the puzzle pieces that can't be missing.
One piece missing and it's not complete.
:)
Teehee.
Ohh yeaa, holiday arrives.
One week holiday, got plans for it? ;)
Have a blast one! :D
For me, I will back to my mother's hometown for holiday. :)
Haha, I can't wait to have fun there. ♥
Must enjoy and relax ya everyone. :)
Teehee!
For my friends, happy holiday and also SELAMAT HARI RAyA! :D
Leave some 'kuih raya' for me ya. :P
Haha!
Okayy, that's all for today.
Take care.
Chaos.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
17/8, The worst wake up call.
Dear Bloggie,
Come for my bloggie again. :)
Well, saw the post title right?
'The worst wake up call.'
Yeaa, the WORST wake up call EVER.
D:
After exam, the teachers sure will give back the papers.
This time, MY RESULTS TERRIBLY DROPPED.
Even I also got shocked.
WHY MY RESULTS SO TERRIBLY BAD?
I am speechless.
Because of that issue, and my STRESS.
No thanks to you, cause I didn't appreciate what BOTH OF YOU did to me.
>:(
Want to know my results?
Let's compare my mid year exam results with the results now.
Mid Year Exam.
But now, for my exam results this time.
Results for now.
Don't have a 'B' in the list also.
Some more, maybe still got a subject that FAILED.
First FAILED in my life.
MY ENTIRE LIFE.
That time when my friends mark my Sejarah paper for me, they were like, "Erin? What happened to you? You just correct 14/40. "
Don't ask me why, I don't know also.
It makes me think back of my stress, and also that thing.
I cried at class.
Loudly.
Actually, I already my expected my Sejarah result will fail, but don't know why, my tears still falling down.
That time, I don't care anything else.
I just want to cry out loud to express out all my stress.
I feel like, I am so stupid and useless.
My friends' results all are better than mine.
They're improving while I am dropping.
Now my situation is like, a people who is walking smoothly, suddenly accidentally kicked a BIG stone and fell down.
But yet, that people is still crying for the pain, and keep looking at the wound that already caused.
Still don't want to stand up and walk slowly to wash the wound and put on some medicine to make it feel more better.
Well, the things happened and I still haven't accept it, still hope that all is just a fake.
Keep on crying, and thinking about the things that happened, and already become the past.
Still don't want to stand up, and walk towards the better future.
What's wrong with me?
Still sitting at there, doing nothing to cure the wound?
Just let it spread the bacteria?
And get more worst?
ERIN, STOP ALL THESE.
You should think wisely.
You're spoiling yourself.
All of these are not suppose to be happening?!
Because of you!
That still don't want to forget the past,
that still don't want to be more stronger.
Seriously, nobody can help you, only yourself.
Please, stand up.
Go wash off all the bad things.
Everyone makes mistakes.
But we must learn from the mistakes, and don't REPEAT it.
So, nevermind.
Everyone must go through different struggles that God give.
So, nevermind.
Everyone grow up through different ways.
And this is the way to let me realize the reality world and don't be so naive.
Nothing's real, nothing lasts.
Fairy tales are wonderful, but reality are not.
Live in the real world, Erin.
Real world are cruel, but you still can make it beautiful.
Don't be hopeless, there's miracles. :)
Well, this is a lesson that I learn from it.
I can't continue like this any more.
I don't want night mares, bad dreams.
I want a sweet dream. :)
Come one Erin, the rain is almost over, it will comes a rainbow and also SUNSHINE! :DD
The moment you lost all the things you had, is also the moment all the good things will come to you. :)
Keep on moving! :)
Wish me luck.
Crying is not a solution of problems, but it can still let you feel more better. :)
Smile is still the best of all. :)
Don't cry because it ended, smile because it happened.
Because it let you know, you deserve a more better one.
Say goodbye to all the problems, and say hello to all the happiness.
I believe, I could make the best of it.
Love can make you raise, but it also makes you fall.
After the fall, stand up, walk proudly.
Because you can defeat the devil that keep disturbing your heart and mind. ;)
Wipe off the tears girl, you're more stronger now.
Come for my bloggie again. :)
Well, saw the post title right?
'The worst wake up call.'
Yeaa, the WORST wake up call EVER.
D:
After exam, the teachers sure will give back the papers.
This time, MY RESULTS TERRIBLY DROPPED.
Even I also got shocked.
WHY MY RESULTS SO TERRIBLY BAD?
I am speechless.
Because of that issue, and my STRESS.
No thanks to you, cause I didn't appreciate what BOTH OF YOU did to me.
>:(
Want to know my results?
Let's compare my mid year exam results with the results now.
Mid Year Exam.
- Bahasa Malaysia - 82% (A)
- English - 81% (A)
- Chinese - 83% (A)
- Kemahiran Hidup - 83% (A)
- Mathematics - 62% (C)
- Science - 71% (B)
- Geography - 55% (C)
- Sejarah - 65% (B)
But now, for my exam results this time.
Results for now.
- Bahasa Malaysia - 78% (A)
- English - 83% (A)
- Chinese - 86% (A)
- Kemahiran Hidup - 84% (A)
- Mathematics - 56% (C)
- Science - 56% (C)
- Geography - 54% (D)
- Sejarah - 30% (E) FAILED. < I think so, haven't give back the paper.
Don't have a 'B' in the list also.
Some more, maybe still got a subject that FAILED.
First FAILED in my life.
MY ENTIRE LIFE.
That time when my friends mark my Sejarah paper for me, they were like, "Erin? What happened to you? You just correct 14/40. "
Don't ask me why, I don't know also.
It makes me think back of my stress, and also that thing.
I cried at class.
Loudly.
Actually, I already my expected my Sejarah result will fail, but don't know why, my tears still falling down.
That time, I don't care anything else.
I just want to cry out loud to express out all my stress.
I feel like, I am so stupid and useless.
My friends' results all are better than mine.
They're improving while I am dropping.
Now my situation is like, a people who is walking smoothly, suddenly accidentally kicked a BIG stone and fell down.
But yet, that people is still crying for the pain, and keep looking at the wound that already caused.
Still don't want to stand up and walk slowly to wash the wound and put on some medicine to make it feel more better.
Well, the things happened and I still haven't accept it, still hope that all is just a fake.
Keep on crying, and thinking about the things that happened, and already become the past.
Still don't want to stand up, and walk towards the better future.
What's wrong with me?
Still sitting at there, doing nothing to cure the wound?
Just let it spread the bacteria?
And get more worst?
ERIN, STOP ALL THESE.
You should think wisely.
You're spoiling yourself.
All of these are not suppose to be happening?!
Because of you!
That still don't want to forget the past,
that still don't want to be more stronger.
Seriously, nobody can help you, only yourself.
Please, stand up.
Go wash off all the bad things.
Everyone makes mistakes.
But we must learn from the mistakes, and don't REPEAT it.
So, nevermind.
Everyone must go through different struggles that God give.
So, nevermind.
Everyone grow up through different ways.
And this is the way to let me realize the reality world and don't be so naive.
Nothing's real, nothing lasts.
Fairy tales are wonderful, but reality are not.
Live in the real world, Erin.
Real world are cruel, but you still can make it beautiful.
Don't be hopeless, there's miracles. :)
Well, this is a lesson that I learn from it.
I can't continue like this any more.
I don't want night mares, bad dreams.
I want a sweet dream. :)
Come one Erin, the rain is almost over, it will comes a rainbow and also SUNSHINE! :DD
The moment you lost all the things you had, is also the moment all the good things will come to you. :)
Keep on moving! :)
Wish me luck.
Crying is not a solution of problems, but it can still let you feel more better. :)
Smile is still the best of all. :)
Don't cry because it ended, smile because it happened.
Because it let you know, you deserve a more better one.
Say goodbye to all the problems, and say hello to all the happiness.
I believe, I could make the best of it.
Love can make you raise, but it also makes you fall.
After the fall, stand up, walk proudly.
Because you can defeat the devil that keep disturbing your heart and mind. ;)
Wipe off the tears girl, you're more stronger now.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
11/8, Some time for myself.
Dear Bloggie,
Ohh yeah! :D
Once again I'm here again!
TeeHee. :)
Just free from my exams.
How was my exam huh?
Hmm..
I can say, just okay okayy.
Some subjects were hard, and some subjects were easy.
I introduce my 'enemy' before right?
MATHEMATICS.
All that I can say is, IT WAS SO HARD.
Know my situation right?
I'm not very interested to Maths, I had no choice but trying to like it.
For my maths, due to the lack of time, some of the subjective questions I just leave it blank.
Ohh yea, and also, I don't know how to do.
>:(
Many of my marks already gone.
My heart, is breaking. </3
But please, at least a 'D'. :(
I will be very thankful if I didn't FAILED my Mathematics.
Okayy, the second subject, Science.
Yeaa, Science is one of my favourite subject, but for this time...
Ohh no.... :(
Just 20 questions for objective, and like 7 questions for subjective.
And the subjective stand 60 marks for the paper.
Yeaa, the paper is quite easy, but unfortunately, for sudden, I can't remember the things I had studied.
So, some I just simply give a good guess.
(But I know it's not.)
And also, for some, I know the answers, but I forgotten all the spellings.
The scientific names are just, too long and complicated.
If I failed my Science, OMG.
I still say I want to become a doctor some more.
>____<
Please, also, at least a 'D' for Science.
Last, for the History (Sejarah).
OMG.
I woke up at 5 a.m. today to study my Sejarah.
But, unlucky, I can't absorb the things that I studied.
Just like a reflection.
I studied, it reflects all the things in another direction.
:(
Some more still got the subjective questions, AGAIN.
I just simply write, just don't want to leave it blank.
During my Sejarah exam, it was also my Sejarah teacher's period, so she keep walking around of us and see our papers.
I don't want her to see my paper because I will feel embarrassed.
So I lay on my Sejarah paper.
But, when she passing by me, she just take my paper out.
I was like, OMG.
I just look at the table, cover my face, and started laughing.
I bet the teacher also can't stand with the answers that I wrote, so, she knocked my head.
>______<
Well, I really didn't meant it, I just...
*sighs*
Now, I will just pray to God, hope that my Sejarah won't fail.
(Although I think I will.)
Recently I lost confidence in myself.
I didn't focus much on my exam this time.
I don't know why.
Really feel so STRESSED.
The motivation that I used to have last time, ít disappeared.
:(
Telling the truth, I'm so lost.
Who can help me out? I want to walk out from this miserable maze.
I need a guidance.
I haven't be strong enough to do it alone.
Please, I don't wish to live in a life like this.
I know, other people just can give me advice, I am the one that must confront with all my feelings, and let myself out of it.
These days, during study time, headache will come.
It automaticly came, makes me feel so suffering.
That's the one of the reasons that I don't feel like study or doing anything.
I think I give myself too much of stress.
I'm stressing myself.
I want to acheive the aim that I aiming.
But, the results came out oppositely.
I push myself too hard.
:(
It's just make the thing more worst.
Motivation, is motivation that give me power to study.
Now, it's already gone.
For the last two exams, actually I did a good job, I'm satisfied with it.
First exam, I got 15th for my class position.
The mid year exam, I got 11th for it.
I'm improving, although it's still haven't reach the goal (within 10) that I wanted so badly, but still, I see the results.
But now, I know that, I will drop.
Because of some issues, makes me become like that.
Lucky this time's exam is not quite important.
Nevermind, take my time easily.
Now, be back yourself, don't skip class, listen to the teacher, pay full attention, copy all the notes that the teacher give and do all my home works.
Be a discipline student, July already past.
Okayy, I don't blame myself to be lost for that time, but now, I must walk out of it.
I must be free.
I must be set free from my mind and heart.
I'm free.
Don't think of the past, look foward to the future.
Still got a lot of fun things are waiting for me.
And also the friends that I haven't met. :)
Don't give up myself easily.
Keep going on, you won't know what's happening if you didn't go for it.
Now, exam's over, don't need to think about the results first, and give myself some time for relaxing.
My heart and my mind, I've burden both of you for so long, is the time for some rest.
Don't need to think about anything, just do some things that will let myself feel happy and enjoying.
Haha! :)
Ohh yea, because of this stress thingy, I think I gained weight also. :(
I lost my appetite, I didn't eat as much as I eat before, but still I think I gained some weight.
:(
I hate to be stress, stress has no advantage and just bring us the pain.
This is one of my 'hurtful' pain.
Please, my stress has to say 'Goodbye' with me.
I don't want to gain weight ANYMORE.
I'm fat enough.
T_____T
Stress, pimples too.
Keep on popping out.
ARGH. >:(
Pimples, I know you're stressed too, but can you find somewhere else to pop out instead of my face?
:(
For so long time I didn't get so many of the pimples!
*screaming*
A big one on my left side face.
So, the conclusion is, STRESS didn't bring us ANY BENEFITS.
Don't be sad, just like me.
Be happy always.
:)
Well, I did write a lot today, didn't I?
After I wrote all these out, I feel relief again.
That's why I need my bloggie so much.
Bloggie, ILY. ♥
You're always be there for me.
TeeHee!
Okayy, gotta go now.
I'm so tired after this long day.
Chaos.
Ohh yeah! :D
Once again I'm here again!
TeeHee. :)
Just free from my exams.
How was my exam huh?
Hmm..
I can say, just okay okayy.
Some subjects were hard, and some subjects were easy.
I introduce my 'enemy' before right?
MATHEMATICS.
All that I can say is, IT WAS SO HARD.
Know my situation right?
I'm not very interested to Maths, I had no choice but trying to like it.
For my maths, due to the lack of time, some of the subjective questions I just leave it blank.
Ohh yea, and also, I don't know how to do.
>:(
Many of my marks already gone.
My heart, is breaking. </3
But please, at least a 'D'. :(
I will be very thankful if I didn't FAILED my Mathematics.
Okayy, the second subject, Science.
Yeaa, Science is one of my favourite subject, but for this time...
Ohh no.... :(
Just 20 questions for objective, and like 7 questions for subjective.
And the subjective stand 60 marks for the paper.
Yeaa, the paper is quite easy, but unfortunately, for sudden, I can't remember the things I had studied.
So, some I just simply give a good guess.
(But I know it's not.)
And also, for some, I know the answers, but I forgotten all the spellings.
The scientific names are just, too long and complicated.
If I failed my Science, OMG.
I still say I want to become a doctor some more.
>____<
Please, also, at least a 'D' for Science.
Last, for the History (Sejarah).
OMG.
I woke up at 5 a.m. today to study my Sejarah.
But, unlucky, I can't absorb the things that I studied.
Just like a reflection.
I studied, it reflects all the things in another direction.
:(
Some more still got the subjective questions, AGAIN.
I just simply write, just don't want to leave it blank.
During my Sejarah exam, it was also my Sejarah teacher's period, so she keep walking around of us and see our papers.
I don't want her to see my paper because I will feel embarrassed.
So I lay on my Sejarah paper.
But, when she passing by me, she just take my paper out.
I was like, OMG.
I just look at the table, cover my face, and started laughing.
I bet the teacher also can't stand with the answers that I wrote, so, she knocked my head.
>______<
Well, I really didn't meant it, I just...
*sighs*
Now, I will just pray to God, hope that my Sejarah won't fail.
(Although I think I will.)
Recently I lost confidence in myself.
I didn't focus much on my exam this time.
I don't know why.
Really feel so STRESSED.
The motivation that I used to have last time, ít disappeared.
:(
Telling the truth, I'm so lost.
Who can help me out? I want to walk out from this miserable maze.
I need a guidance.
I haven't be strong enough to do it alone.
Please, I don't wish to live in a life like this.
I know, other people just can give me advice, I am the one that must confront with all my feelings, and let myself out of it.
These days, during study time, headache will come.
It automaticly came, makes me feel so suffering.
That's the one of the reasons that I don't feel like study or doing anything.
I think I give myself too much of stress.
I'm stressing myself.
I want to acheive the aim that I aiming.
But, the results came out oppositely.
I push myself too hard.
:(
It's just make the thing more worst.
Motivation, is motivation that give me power to study.
Now, it's already gone.
For the last two exams, actually I did a good job, I'm satisfied with it.
First exam, I got 15th for my class position.
The mid year exam, I got 11th for it.
I'm improving, although it's still haven't reach the goal (within 10) that I wanted so badly, but still, I see the results.
But now, I know that, I will drop.
Because of some issues, makes me become like that.
Lucky this time's exam is not quite important.
Nevermind, take my time easily.
Now, be back yourself, don't skip class, listen to the teacher, pay full attention, copy all the notes that the teacher give and do all my home works.
Be a discipline student, July already past.
Okayy, I don't blame myself to be lost for that time, but now, I must walk out of it.
I must be free.
I must be set free from my mind and heart.
I'm free.
Don't think of the past, look foward to the future.
Still got a lot of fun things are waiting for me.
And also the friends that I haven't met. :)
Don't give up myself easily.
Keep going on, you won't know what's happening if you didn't go for it.
Now, exam's over, don't need to think about the results first, and give myself some time for relaxing.
My heart and my mind, I've burden both of you for so long, is the time for some rest.
Don't need to think about anything, just do some things that will let myself feel happy and enjoying.
Haha! :)
Ohh yea, because of this stress thingy, I think I gained weight also. :(
I lost my appetite, I didn't eat as much as I eat before, but still I think I gained some weight.
:(
I hate to be stress, stress has no advantage and just bring us the pain.
This is one of my 'hurtful' pain.
Please, my stress has to say 'Goodbye' with me.
I don't want to gain weight ANYMORE.
I'm fat enough.
T_____T
Stress, pimples too.
Keep on popping out.
ARGH. >:(
Pimples, I know you're stressed too, but can you find somewhere else to pop out instead of my face?
:(
For so long time I didn't get so many of the pimples!
*screaming*
A big one on my left side face.
So, the conclusion is, STRESS didn't bring us ANY BENEFITS.
Don't be sad, just like me.
Be happy always.
:)
Well, I did write a lot today, didn't I?
After I wrote all these out, I feel relief again.
That's why I need my bloggie so much.
Bloggie, ILY. ♥
You're always be there for me.
TeeHee!
Okayy, gotta go now.
I'm so tired after this long day.
Chaos.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
7/8, I'm back.
Dear Bloggie,
Hii ya all, do you all miss me? :)
A long time I didn't come for update.
Sorry ya my bloggie, I neglected you.
Not that I don't want to update my blog, is just I don't have the mood to update.
Why? It's a long story.
In the month of July, that I didn't even blog for a word, yeaa, many things happened.
What kind of things?
Mostly all sad and depressed.
The things that I don't wish to happen, happened.
It's my destiny though.
How about start my story now?
Alright.
The thing that I thought it wouldn't happen, breakup.
Yeaa, I been through a breakup now.
First experience of breakup in my life.
IT HURTS A LOT.
Because of this, many things of my life had been interrupted.
I don't wish to say more about this, it just make me feel myself more stupid.
After breakup, I don't know how to confront him.
Same class some more.
But now, a month already, my emotions are more stable for now.
During the breakup month, I don't know what to do.
I am so depressed.
I can missed all my lessons, not doing my homeworks, laugh crazily with my buddies and also cry loudly at the night.
Seriously, that's just so not me.
Before this, Erin will not want to missed all the lessons, she will attend to school even though she was sick, but for that month, she was finding for excuses just to be absent.
Before this, Erin will do finish all her homeworks before playing computer or anything, now, she can just leave her homeworks behind, and don't care about it.
Before this, Erin will not be so crazy with her friends. Now, she's different. She just want to laugh out hard to cover all her true feelings, that means, PRETEND.
My miserable month of July.
I'm trying to find my path out of this.
I can't stay at this kind of situation forever, life still goes on.
I can tell myself that, I CAN LIVE WITHOUT HIM.
So, I must take back my words,I can't live without you. Sorry to say that, I CAN.
Now I must believe and trust in myself.
I want to do back the Erin before.
He can still be HAPPY without me, WHY I CAN'T?
Why I must be the one who sad for so long time, while he doesn't even sad for ONCE?
Why I must waste all my tears, energy and also my heart to a person who doesn't even APPRECIATE it?
Erin, he's not worth it for you to do so many things.
Maybe we're just destined to just meet each other, be together for a season, not till the end.
I believe that the God won't be so cruel to hurt me without a reason.
God will arranged everything well.
This is for me to wake up, a hurtful wake up call.
But now, I'm just half awake.
I hope I can wake up sooner.
'Heartbreak' really needs time.
Time forgets.
It's not hard to forget someone you loved. It is hard to forget the love you felt for someone.
That's true.
The scars you can't see is the hardest to be healed.
Well, Erin, don't keep stay at the past.
You will not have a better tomorrow if you keep stay at the past.
So move on.
You still got plenty of time.
If this guy don't appreciate you, some others will.
Out there, maybe will got a guy happy that he leave.
(Self-comforting)
Is his loss that he didn't grab this chance.
The God will let you meet a better one.
So, ERIN, accept the fact that he's gone, he's not yours anymore.
At last, a girl doesn't need anyone who doesn't need her.
Be happy that he came into your life, and be happy to send him away.
Because he's the one who let you realized what you should really deserve.
Once again, thank YOU for loving me before and thank YOU for walking out my life.
That's the decision you made, fine, I will wish you all the best.
Don’t be afraid of letting go. You may lose something good, but you might gain something even better.
There is a good in goodbye for a reason, some people are just not meant to remain in your life and you will have to let them go.
Don't cry for a guy, let a guy cry for you. Cause girls give and forgive, but guys get and forget.
I'm letting you go now, my heart is free now.
Goodbye, and we'll never meet again.
Farewell, my first love.
After expressed all my feelings out here, I am more comfortable and sure about my decisions.
But still, I need time.
:)Erin, aza-aza fighting! ♥
I know you can.
"I will break these chains that bind me, happiness will find me, leave the past behind me, today my life begins." - Bruno Mars 'Today my life begins'.
A nice song that suites my situation now.
I just need to put the past behind me, it's already over. And I must leave in the presence to make it more wonderful and looking forward to my future.
Sorry, I'm now lack of time, gotta go for my beauty sleep now.
Must study MATHS for my examination tomorrow, wish me luck.
I believe after tonight's great cry, I will be more better.
Live without regrets, life is too short to waste a single second with anyone who doesn't value you. :)
After a hurricane, will comes a rainbow.
Chaos.
Hii ya all, do you all miss me? :)
A long time I didn't come for update.
Sorry ya my bloggie, I neglected you.
Not that I don't want to update my blog, is just I don't have the mood to update.
Why? It's a long story.
In the month of July, that I didn't even blog for a word, yeaa, many things happened.
What kind of things?
Mostly all sad and depressed.
The things that I don't wish to happen, happened.
It's my destiny though.
How about start my story now?
Alright.
The thing that I thought it wouldn't happen, breakup.
Yeaa, I been through a breakup now.
First experience of breakup in my life.
IT HURTS A LOT.
Because of this, many things of my life had been interrupted.
I don't wish to say more about this, it just make me feel myself more stupid.
After breakup, I don't know how to confront him.
Same class some more.
But now, a month already, my emotions are more stable for now.
During the breakup month, I don't know what to do.
I am so depressed.
I can missed all my lessons, not doing my homeworks, laugh crazily with my buddies and also cry loudly at the night.
Seriously, that's just so not me.
Before this, Erin will not want to missed all the lessons, she will attend to school even though she was sick, but for that month, she was finding for excuses just to be absent.
Before this, Erin will do finish all her homeworks before playing computer or anything, now, she can just leave her homeworks behind, and don't care about it.
Before this, Erin will not be so crazy with her friends. Now, she's different. She just want to laugh out hard to cover all her true feelings, that means, PRETEND.
My miserable month of July.
I'm trying to find my path out of this.
I can't stay at this kind of situation forever, life still goes on.
I can tell myself that, I CAN LIVE WITHOUT HIM.
So, I must take back my words,
Now I must believe and trust in myself.
I want to do back the Erin before.
He can still be HAPPY without me, WHY I CAN'T?
Why I must be the one who sad for so long time, while he doesn't even sad for ONCE?
Why I must waste all my tears, energy and also my heart to a person who doesn't even APPRECIATE it?
Erin, he's not worth it for you to do so many things.
Maybe we're just destined to just meet each other, be together for a season, not till the end.
I believe that the God won't be so cruel to hurt me without a reason.
God will arranged everything well.
This is for me to wake up, a hurtful wake up call.
But now, I'm just half awake.
I hope I can wake up sooner.
'Heartbreak' really needs time.
Time forgets.
It's not hard to forget someone you loved. It is hard to forget the love you felt for someone.
That's true.
The scars you can't see is the hardest to be healed.
Well, Erin, don't keep stay at the past.
You will not have a better tomorrow if you keep stay at the past.
So move on.
You still got plenty of time.
If this guy don't appreciate you, some others will.
Out there, maybe will got a guy happy that he leave.
(Self-comforting)
Is his loss that he didn't grab this chance.
The God will let you meet a better one.
So, ERIN, accept the fact that he's gone, he's not yours anymore.
At last, a girl doesn't need anyone who doesn't need her.
Be happy that he came into your life, and be happy to send him away.
Because he's the one who let you realized what you should really deserve.
Once again, thank YOU for loving me before and thank YOU for walking out my life.
That's the decision you made, fine, I will wish you all the best.
Don’t be afraid of letting go. You may lose something good, but you might gain something even better.
There is a good in goodbye for a reason, some people are just not meant to remain in your life and you will have to let them go.
Don't cry for a guy, let a guy cry for you. Cause girls give and forgive, but guys get and forget.
I'm letting you go now, my heart is free now.
Goodbye, and we'll never meet again.
Farewell, my first love.
After expressed all my feelings out here, I am more comfortable and sure about my decisions.
But still, I need time.
:)Erin, aza-aza fighting! ♥
I know you can.
"I will break these chains that bind me, happiness will find me, leave the past behind me, today my life begins." - Bruno Mars 'Today my life begins'.
A nice song that suites my situation now.
I just need to put the past behind me, it's already over. And I must leave in the presence to make it more wonderful and looking forward to my future.
Sorry, I'm now lack of time, gotta go for my beauty sleep now.
Must study MATHS for my examination tomorrow, wish me luck.
I believe after tonight's great cry, I will be more better.
Live without regrets, life is too short to waste a single second with anyone who doesn't value you. :)
After a hurricane, will comes a rainbow.
Chaos.
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