26/8, holiday arrives.

Dear Bloggie,


Sorry for lefted you quite awhile here.
Are you lonely? :/
Well, not in the mood of writing my blog those days.
I'm busy.
Nothing special happened also.
Hmm..
But, during these days, don't know why I keep on crying.
I think I am stressed again.
Cried at home.
Got scolding from my mother of crying.
Home is not a good place for me to cry.
That's why I always hold my tears and cry at school.
I had no choice.
If I don't cry out, I can't find another way to express it.
And if I cry at school, I hope I can get more support and accompany from my friends.
But, they can't always just stay at my side, they also have their things to do.
That time, I realized, I really need to do something.
Few days ago, a friend of mine find me and talk some about my problems.
Well, that time I need a person to talk with, so I choose to believe.
Say honestly, he really helped me a lot.
But that time, I haven't understand and think of the whole thing completely.
The day after it, I totally understand and get the meaning.
My mind is open.
People changed, we can't do them also.
That means we must let them go.
If still holding a person that doesn't belong to you tightly, you will just struggle yourself from pain.
It's hard to forget someone that once you love the most, but can still keep the good memories.
Life still goes on, no matter how worst or good.
We can't change the past, because it's already become past tense.
But, we can change our future, with our will. :)
It depends on us.
The most important thing, must believe in yourself.
Don't lost confidence.
Be happy is not 'trying to', is 'must to'. :)
Thank you, someone. :)
If you didn't come and say all these to me, maybe I still need a long time to recover myself.
Thanks for all the words, the meaningful words.
Hmm..
Another thing that happened today.
Well, the position of my class came out already.
If didn't mistaken, the paper wrote that I got 35th in my class.
What a result.
What aim that I aiming again?
Okayy, wait a second.
Ohh yea, I remembered.
It's within 10.
Now? What I got?
:'(
From 11th to 35th.
Say honestly, the WORST POSITION I EVER HAD for my ENTIRE LIFE.
I dropped 24 position.
According to the new position ranking system, once you failed a subject, your position will be at behind already.
Well, I am the FIRST person on the 'Failed' list.
My total marks are 531.
But some other classmates of mine, the total marks are lower than mine, but their position are on the 'Passed' list.
Well, means in front of 35th.
35th behind, means all the 7 people also got subject that failed.
The time that I know I get 35 in my class, I straight cry.
I can't stand it.
I know cry can't change anything, but I still can't control myself.
My heart just tell me, cry it out loud.
After a great cry, it feels more comfortable though.
I cried for 3 periods.
During the Chinese lesson, my best friends can't stay in the class because they didn't take Chinese.
So, no choice, they need to leave.
Left one of my best friend, GF.
Actually, he's so good.
He tried to comfort me and accompany me.
Seriously, when I cry, I realized all of my classmates were scared of me.
No one dare to come and comfort me or accompany me.
Maybe I'm not that close with them also.
But, honestly, when I cry, what I need the most is someone's accompany and comforting.
But, it takes time.
Not many people do really care, honestly saying.
Nevermind, I already get used to it.
So, I don't care of them, I just cry.
Nobody will understand what I am thinking.
I didn't blame anyone.
That's true, no one can understand a person's heart and mind completely.
What I want to say is, a people who always laugh and smile the most, is the ones who their hearts are crying all the times.
So, everyone have their limitations.
Like me, I can't stand it anymore, so I cried.
I bet nobody likes to cry, including me.
I prefer laughter more.
But, there's always sad times.
We're not made from metal or steel.
We will still cry.
Cry is not a thing that embarrasses, is just a way to express yourself.
Even the strongest person in the world also will cry.
So, please don't think that cry is a crime.
But, that's doesn't mean to call you cry more.
Just, when you feel sad, please don't hide your emotions.
Express it out to make you feel more better.
Share it out to your friends also.
Or write it out on a diary.
:)
After my Chinese teacher finished her teaching, she still got time.
She come and comfort me and also give me motivation.
She told me not to lose hope but study hard for the final exam.
"you can be the best, if you work hard."
:)
I will teacher, I will.
Now, I want to promise myself, I will study more hard for the finals.
I won't let myself down.
And I won't FAILED a subject again.
My aim of position is still within 10.
I know I can.
:D
And also, I want to promise my friends, especially Dhurgaa, Hanu and GF,
I will try not to cry at the class and then I will share all my feelings with you all.
Deal? :D
I love you three. ♥
I learned from my lesson, I won't let the same mistake repeat again.
I woke up from all the bad dreams.
And I believe, I will feel the warm sunshine. :)
Once again, I want to thanks all my friends who support, comfort and be with me all the times.
I can't live without you all, friends are important.
you all are the puzzle pieces that can't be missing.
One piece missing and it's not complete.
:)
Teehee.
Ohh yeaa, holiday arrives.
One week holiday, got plans for it? ;)
Have a blast one! :D
For me, I will back to my mother's hometown for holiday. :)
Haha, I can't wait to have fun there. ♥
Must enjoy and relax ya everyone. :)
Teehee!
For my friends, happy holiday and also SELAMAT HARI RAyA! :D
Leave some 'kuih raya' for me ya. :P
Haha!
Okayy, that's all for today.
Take care.
Chaos.