7/8, I'm back.

Dear Bloggie,


Hii ya all, do you all miss me? :)
A long time I didn't come for update.
Sorry ya my bloggie, I neglected you.
Not that I don't want to update my blog, is just I don't have the mood to update.
Why? It's a long story.
In the month of July, that I didn't even blog for a word, yeaa, many things happened.
What kind of things?
Mostly all sad and depressed.
The things that I don't wish to happen, happened.
It's my destiny though.
How about start my story now?
Alright.
The thing that I thought it wouldn't happen, breakup.
Yeaa, I been through a breakup now.
First experience of breakup in my life.
IT HURTS A LOT.
Because of this, many things of my life had been interrupted.
I don't wish to say more about this, it just make me feel myself more stupid.
After breakup, I don't know how to confront him.
Same class some more.
But now, a month already, my emotions are more stable for now.
During the breakup month, I don't know what to do.
I am so depressed.
I can missed all my lessons, not doing my homeworks, laugh crazily with my buddies and also cry loudly at the night.
Seriously, that's just so not me.
Before this, Erin will not want to missed all the lessons, she will attend to school even though she was sick, but  for that month, she was finding for excuses just to be absent.
Before this, Erin will do finish all her homeworks before playing computer or anything, now, she can just leave her homeworks behind, and don't care about it.
Before this, Erin will not be so crazy with her friends. Now, she's different. She just want to laugh out hard to cover all her true feelings, that means, PRETEND.
My miserable month of July.
I'm trying to find my path out of this.
I can't stay at this kind of situation forever, life still goes on.
I can tell myself that, I CAN LIVE WITHOUT HIM.
So, I must take back my words, I can't live without you. Sorry to say that, I CAN.
Now I must believe and trust in myself.
I want to do back the Erin before.
He can still be HAPPY without me, WHY I CAN'T?
Why I must be the one who sad for so long time, while he doesn't even sad for ONCE?
Why I must waste all my tears, energy and also my heart to a person who doesn't even APPRECIATE it?
Erin, he's not worth it for you to do so many things.
Maybe we're just destined to just meet each other, be together for a season, not till the end.
I believe that the God won't be so cruel to hurt me without a reason.
God will arranged everything well.
This is for me to wake up, a hurtful wake up call.
But now, I'm just half awake.
I hope I can wake up sooner.
'Heartbreak' really needs time.
Time forgets.
It's not hard to forget someone you loved. It is hard to forget the love you felt for someone.
That's true.
The scars you can't see is the hardest to be healed.
Well, Erin, don't keep stay at the past. 
You will not have a better tomorrow if you keep stay at the past.
So move on.
You still got plenty of time.
If this guy don't appreciate you, some others will.
Out there, maybe will got a guy happy that he leave.
(Self-comforting) 
Is his loss that he didn't grab this chance.
The God will let you meet a better one. 
So, ERIN, accept the fact that he's gone, he's not yours anymore.
At last, a girl doesn't need anyone who doesn't need her.
Be happy that he came into your life, and be happy to send him away.
Because he's the one who let you realized what you should really deserve. 
Once again, thank YOU for loving me before and thank YOU for walking out my life.
That's the decision you made, fine, I will wish you all the best.
Don’t be afraid of letting go. You may lose something good, but you might gain something even better.
There is a good in goodbye for a reason, some people are just not meant to remain in your life and you will have to let them go.
Don't cry for a guy, let a guy cry for you. Cause girls give and forgive, but guys get and forget. 
I'm letting you go now, my heart is free now.
Goodbye, and we'll never meet again.
Farewell, my first love.
After expressed all my feelings out here, I am more comfortable and sure about my decisions.
But still, I need time.
:)Erin, aza-aza fighting! ♥
I know you can.
"I will break these chains that bind me, happiness will find me, leave the past behind me, today my life begins." - Bruno Mars 'Today my life begins'.
A nice song that suites my situation now.
I just need to put the past behind me, it's already over. And I must leave in the presence to make it more wonderful and looking forward to my future. 
Sorry, I'm now lack of time, gotta go for my beauty sleep now.
Must study MATHS for my examination tomorrow, wish me luck.
I believe after tonight's great cry, I will be more better.
Live without regrets, life is too short to waste a single second with anyone who doesn't value you. :)
After a hurricane, will comes a rainbow.
Chaos.