I am having insomnia again. Currently it's 5:58 am and I can't sleep because random thoughts keep gliding through my mind. (At least it's not negative thoughts, so I got that going for me, which is nice.) So now I decided to write my blog post earlier. Let's release all the wild thoughts!
Today I will be going to talk about my ambition. My loyal bloggie readers will know, how many ambitions I've changed within this 5 years. Hahahaha. At first I wanna become a Nutritionist, but after I've seen so many Nutrition clinics are been placed at a place that no one will ever pass by or even worse beside the toilet in MANY hospitals. So I dropped this ambition of mine. No Malaysians will ever go to the Nutritionist but I can understand why. MALAYSIA IS JUST SO AWESOME WITH ALL KINDS OF GREAT FOODS. All comes together with high calories, high carbohydrate, high salts, high sugar and etc etc. But, like I care? I rather die than not eating these awesome foods. Malaysia boleh! #YOLO
Nextly, I've said before that I wanna study game development (I deleted the blog post btw, I am sorry!) Then I think about it again. If I am carrying those heavy debts to just go and enjoy more than study, what for? Although I really really love to play games, but I think this can just stay as an interest and hobby of mine. Must study something more practical for daily life.
Now I officially announce to the whole world, this time I ain't gonna change my ambition anymore, I swear. I am gonna work hard for this ambition of mine because I really wanna achieve this, it's really meaningful to me. So are you guys ready to know? 1.... 2.... 3.... And my ambition now is to become a doctor. Yes, you heard me right, a doctor.
I have many reasons behind this ambition, I bet you guys wanna know right? Even if you don't wanna know, I will still let you know. Hahaha. Firstly, I am really interested in Health sciences, especially those involved Biology eventhough my Biology is not that good, still it's my favorite subject. Second, the pain of losing a family member. My fifth uncle passed away last year due to lymphoma. I feel so sad because I can't do anything to help him, the most I can do is search online for more information about that disease and study about it. Hoping that I can really do something to reduce his pain. Too bad, I can't. I am not a doctor, I wish I am. So by studying medicine, I can help the people around me, my family and friends when they needed any medical checkups or help with their health problems. At least I can try my best to do whatever I can to prevent things like that to happen again. Third, the people who are really in need. Well, I've been hospitalized for a few times last year. I saw so many different situations with my naked eyes. It's just so heartbreaking and sad. When I saw so many people who are crying in pain, when I saw so many people who are so helpless, it really tear my heart apart. I often cry in ward when I saw them suffering. I just can't stand it. They also just want to be fully healed and recover. I want to be a doctor to help these people in need. They need help, they really need. And I really wanna give them a helping hand, I want to let them know they are not helpless. Fourth, I am also a not so healthy person, I will understand their feelings because I've been through all these.
Once, when I was hospitalized, a doctor came to me and asked me what was my ambition. I replied him is either a programmer or a doctor. He shared all his experience as a doctor with me. I am inspired by him. He has the same thinking as me. He just wanted to work at the government hospital to help the people who couldn't afford the expensive medical fees. That's exactly what I've been thinking. He said to me, the private hospitals wanted him to join them, but he refused the offers. He still has so many people he has to help. I am so touched by his actions. He some more said to me all of his friends have became a millionaire because they are working at the private sector while him working at the government sector and his earnings are just enough for his family's living. But, he is doing a way more meaningful job than the ones working at the private sector, to help the poor people who are in need. I respect him, so much so much.
Now the problem, the study part. Firstly, I am a lazy ass. Hahahaha. To honestly tell you my results of my Form 4 and Form 5 exams are terrible. You must at least get B in Biology, Chemistry, Physics and Maths in order to study medicine. What if I tell you, I failed everything there except for Biology? HAHAHAHAHA. Within this year I have to make everything from fail to B, do you guys think is it even possible? But, I will never give up and I will try my best to score. As long as I understand what's the subject is talking about, then it will be easy. No biggies, I got this. Second, surgery part. This is like the nightmare for me, OMG, seriously? Knife, needles and blood? I can even got scared seeing the fake skeleton. How am I supposed to overcome this? I don't know. Later I faint inside the operating theater. HAHAHAHA. But as the time goes by, I think I will be mentally okayy? Hopefully so. Third, time management. Okayy, medicine is not an easy task or neither a super hard one, it just need discipline and good time organizing. Tell you what, I suck at both. I don't know whether I can manage my time properly for study and fun at the same time. If you study whole day, you're gonna have a bad time. If you play for whole day, you're also gonna have a bad time. It needs to be in between! Oh God. I can die without having fun and also can die if I keep on study. GAMES ARE MY LIFE. I still need to spare some time for my dearest games. Fourth, peer pressure. My God. Med students, all are super smart people and geniuses inside and some nerds. I am just average and..... I am not a nerd. Oh God... How can I blend in? How can I deal with peer pressure arghh.
But most important is my SPM this year. I have to get good results in order to have a chance to study medicine. Must strive for studies and also games. Hahahahaha. To all my buddies there, if anyone of you are free to tutor me, I will be super thankful for it because I really need it so much for all subjects except for English and PM. Help for BM, BC, Maths, Add Maths, Biology, Chemistry, Physics and most importantly SEJARAH will be needed. Please contact me if you are interested. We can hang out, have fun and also you tutor me. So will be 3 in 1 package. Hahahaha! I wanna have fun when study and after study too. :P If you don't wanna tutor me but want to hang out and have fun with me, please do contact me also, I am waiting for you. Hahahaha! I am serious with it, really. :) But all these will need to wait until I recover, you can come to me for reservations and booking first. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Motivation is on. Fight hard for what I want. I will never give up. And the time now is 7:29 am. Hashtag You only live once.
Tata, xoxo. ❤️
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