Tuesday, January 13, 2015

14/1, I am blessed.

Dear Bloggie,


It's been a few days I didn't write anything here when I've said to myself that I want to blog everyday. I'm really sorry because I can't really think of a topic. When I do, the topics are too negative. I need to convert myself from negative to positive. 

I am really grateful. Although I am facing so many hardships now but when I know there's still people out there willing to accept me for what I am now, no matter good or worst of me. They didn't show me their pitiness towards me instead they use their sincerity to be friends with me and like me for my personality. That's just what I want. I don't want people to pity me just because I am wheelchair bound for now, that only makes me feel even down and my self esteem will go lower and lower. It will makes me feel like I can't keep my head held high because I am not walking like anyone else. 

Things do happen for a reason. What I've lost I gained more. The past will continue to stay in the past because it doesn't really matters anymore. I have to put all my past down, forgive and forget. By doing so, only I can gain true inner peace and  nothing can distract me from the peace I have. For me, to forgive is an easy job but to forget is another way round. It's really hard to forget the hurtful things that people had done to you, especially when that people actually means the whole world to you once. But, it's already in the past, it's no use for me to keep holding on to the pain and make myself so miserable while thinking of it. It's time to let go, all the good and the bad. Just let it go. The earlier you let go of it, the earlier you will get your freedom and peace. The weakest person is the one who holds on anger, hatred and revenge. 

To really start a new life of mine, I decided to let go everything in the past, including the forget part. I have to forgive and forget all the faults of everyone including myself. Forget all the pain that I once had, because it's already over. It's time to move on and meet new people and start a brand new chapter of my life! I believe I can do it! 

Currently I am having a happy life after all of my own realization about life. I've found my happiness. ❤️ I'm really happy because after a hurricane comes a rainbow, a very beautiful rainbow. :) I'm really so thankful to my own self because I've been through all those miserable and painful days. I'm really so thankful to my own self because I chose to keep holding on to life instead of suiciding eventhough I really wanted to so badly. I'm really so thankful to my own self because I never give up so that I will have my happiness of today. (I'm still thinking is it real or it's just my fantasy FOR DAYS, hahahaha!)

So my plans now are, continue to be happy, worry less and stay positive. Of course most importantly, MY RECOVERY. I have to recover as soon as possible because I don't wanna waste time doing nothing. I want to do things which are meaningful to life. I don't want to leave any regrets. I must appreciate the time I have, the things I have and the people I have, before it's too late. 

The past stays in the past. We don't know about our future. So I will cherish today, every today I have. Now and the future. Today's happiness can only build up a brighter tomorrow. I will try my best to make everyone around me to be happy and of course I won't forget about my own happiness this time. 'Today' is most important day than others. If you're good today, you'll be better tomorrow. Don't ever waste the time of today to worry about the future. Every second counts. Because the time will never rewind back. Remember that. 

"Que sera, sera. Whatever will be, will be. The future's not ours to see. Que sera, sera. What will be, will be."

"活在当下。“

God is fair by treating everyone unfair. Keep holding on for dear life, no matter how hard it is, trust me, time will heal and it will only gets better day by day. Don't give up. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

I'm so grateful for all the things I have and I don't have. I appreciate every moment in my life. I'm blessed to have so many wonderful things and people in my life. Thanks for making my life happening again. I am really lucky. I am truly blessed. 

Don't worry, be happy.

Tata, xoxo. ❤️

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