20/9, Sunday.

Dear Bloggie,

I am back to blog again! But due to my arms and hands pain and sore for don't know what reason, I won't be writing long. 

A lot had happened in my life, good and bad. Currently I am hospitalized at HKL again, and it's already been more than a week! I don't know how long I have to stay some more though.

The purpose I am back on my blogging track is because I wanna be positive and I wanna keep reminding myself, I am stronger than what I am. 

Today is the day, I've cried out all the sadness in me. Start from tomorrow, I have promised myself, I need to be more positive towards life and I will be much more stronger than who I am today! 

If I've lost something good, God will surely replace it by giving me something even better. God has it's own planning and I am willing to accept it. God knows best. I believe in Him. 

I need to love myself more before I could love somebody else. If I don't love myself and accept myself for who I am, nobody else will ever love me or even accept me for who I am. 

As time goes by I've been starting to lose my positive fighting-to-be-healthy spirit, because I am starting to get very panic, why after so long time I still haven't gotten much improvement and it even got worst. At first my both legs, now even my hands are affected with pain and tiredness. 

I am starting to get even depressed after midyear, I am starting to even worry about my condition and I am starting to think lots of negative stuffs. I am starting to cry a lot than before. I am starting to lose my hope. I am starting to lose my faith. As I planned to recover before midyear but it didn't work out as what I planned. So I am all covered with stress, pressure and negative thoughts. 

What happened these few days are definitely a good wake up call for me. It's calling me to be stronger and start to focus back on myself. The wake up call is definitely worth it, because once again I realized how important for me to be positive towards life. Positive thinking brought me a lot of good stuffs happening in my life while the negative thinking slowly destroying every thing I had. 

So start from today I will be blogging every night before I had my painkiller or my depression pills that will cause me to be sleepy. 

My bloggie is my dear diary. 

The past is in the past, tomorrow in a brand new start! Gambateh! 

Feeling drowsy now, goodnight dearies. 

Tata, xoxo. ❤️